The Big Man tells all

A unique opportunity was seized upon when, through a friend of a friend, an acquaintance who was divorced from someone’s sister told me that Santa was doing a “recon”. Apparently he was feeling jovial and granted me an exclusive interview.

At first I thought I could discuss world peace or ask how the new non-gender discrimination of toys was going etc. But, through a casual remark, he started telling me about some of the beverages that had been left for him, especially from the medical world. The following is a brief but true description of his tale.

“Hmm, neurosurgeons. They can be pretty uptight and precise. Not super flashy but, like to let you know they are at the top of their game. So, often I find a good glass of vintage champagne, say a 2008 Paul Louis Martin Blanc de Blanc, 100 per cent Chardonnay, with a deep yellow colour and soft, fine beads of bubbles. The nose is fresh with peach and citrus notes. The aging toasty aromas are starting to develop. Full sweeping fruit and acidity make this a well-structured wine.

“Orthopaedic surgeons. Most of them are mad wine drinkers, with a penchant for Pinot Noir, sorry, I mean Red Burgundy.  Once this ortho from Toorak left me a vertical tasting of four vintages of Nuit Saint Denis. But I must say his poorer country cousin from Ipswich did leave me some 1994 Bass Phillip Pinot Noir from Gippsland. Strawberries and truffles and funky notes with a broad sustained palate really excited me.

“Plastics. These guys are a bit regionally variant, say the flashy Gold Coast or the Hunters Hill mob. But they all seemed to have discovered Nebiollo from Piedmont in Italy. No doubt on their way to the fashion capital Milan. A patriotic plastics guy left me out an Amant Margaret river Nebiollo - complex nose of plums roses and herbal notes. Juicy palate, but a little less tannin than the Italian ones.

“Breast surgeons. This amazing female breast surgeon, who once helped Mrs Claus, left me out a sensational but sensible wine. A David Franz Adelaide Hills 2014 Brothers Ilk Chardonnay. Vibrant yellow colour. A bouquet of white peach, lemon and hints of funky lees notes. The palate was sublime, with hints of lemon curd and supporting acids. It was a Goldie locks wine – just right. 

“Family physicians. Yes well, these guys have hearts as big as Texas. Occasionally a grateful patient gives them a good tipple for Xmas. In their true spirt they will often leave me a taste. Usually a good decent Shiraz does the trick, like a Woodstock, the Stocks 2008 Shiraz. Deep red to purple with aging brown colour. A complex nose of stewed plums and dates, but with McLaren Vale spicy notes. Luscious palate and great tannins.

“Anaesthetists. They are like nocturnal animals; you know they exist, but it’s hard to see them. A Riesling is often their choice. They know it’s understated and shunned by most. But they realise its potential. A Frenchman’s Cap 2015 Tasmanian Riesling made by Julian Alcorso hit the spot. I know Julian well, and he has just retired from winemaking. The wine has a classic Coal River bouquet of melon and limes. The palate appears rich and there is an amazing raft of acidity. Julian, Santa will miss you. Maybe I’ll visit you on your yacht, The Last Vintage.

“There are many more specialties I could go onto. But it is always a privilege to sample these gifts from a group of people who are sometimes underappreciated, attacked from all sides of politics and bureaucracy, not to mention medico-legal areas.

“Doctors do this from an innate sense of caring, and it is not about the money (or, in the case of GPs, the lack thereof).

“So, when Santa tries these wines he feels the love.

“Merry Xmas everybody Ho (hic) Ho.”